Happy Anniversary to The Woman Behind the Letters

Happy Anniversary to The Woman Behind the Letters! Here is the scene I dreaded writing when I decided to write Kathryn's side of the story. In Cursed Soldier, Kathryn was a part of Benjamin's past but you only saw her through the letters she wrote. In The Woman Behind the Letters, Kathryn was front and center. This was her book, but I knew one scene had to be in there. It's in this scene that everyone wants to hate Benjamin. It's because of this scene that I tell people to read Cursed Soldier first. I didn't want to write it, but it was necessary for Kathryn's journey. Here is the scene.

She watched him take a deep breath before looking directly at her. There was no joy in his eyes. Was he not happy to see her?
"I'm sorry because I can't marry you," he whispered releasing her hands.
Her arms fell to her sides, as she tried to process what he said.
"What?" she asked in shock. "I don't understand why you can't marry me," she muttered, trying to wrap her mind around his statement.
The war was over, so they could get married. This was their plan before he left four years ago.
"Kathryn, I love you, but the war has changed me," he stated coolly. It was not the loving tone she loved so much. In fact, he never spoke to her in such a cold voice. "I'm not the man who left here that April morning. I don't know that man any longer."
"What? Yes you are. You haven't changed," she protested.
This wasn't right. She waited for him to come home and complete her life, not tell her he changed.
"I've changed, more than you will ever know," he whispered brokenly.
"I don't understand," she cried. "I've waited over four years for you to come home," she voiced angrily.
"I know Kathryn," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I can't stay marry you. I will not burden you with marriage to me. It's not fair to you."
"No, this is not fair to me!" she shouted, as she held back her tears. "I love you. I want to marry you and start our life together."
"Kathryn, this is hard, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I am. If I were to marry you, your entire life would change. I can't ask you to give up your life for me."
"Benjamin, I know you've seen more than I want to know, but it's not a reason to call off our engagement," she stated, trying to reason with him.
He backed up and sighed. "I can't explain, but I will never get married," he stated with finality.
Kathryn stood there for a moment, as her heart broke into a million pieces. "Are you sure? We don't have to get married anytime soon. We do have to plan the wedding," she muttered still trying to make this work.
"I am sure," he stated. "I wish I could share what's changed in me, but I can't. Please believe me, and let me go."
"I prayed for you to come home from the war," she whispered. "I prayed for you to come back to me."
The tears threatened to spill, as she bit her lip to control her emotions. She refused to cry in front of him.
"I am sorry."
"This has something to do with the Battle of Gettysburg," she muttered, as she really looked at him.
He was a changed man. The sparkle in his eyes was gone, causing them to be a dull, dark color. It was as if he was cloaked in shadows and hidden away from her, even though the sun was shining on him. It was Benjamin, but then again it wasn't.
"Kathryn," he moaned. "I can't stay here and marry you. Please live your life without me."
"I'm not sure I can," she cried, as she felt him slip away from her. "You've broken me," she whispered, as her lip trembled.