Life in the Moments

This is still one of my hardest scenes to write. I loved writing Amelia and Beau's painful journey. Life in the Moments is available in ebook, paperback, and hard cover. 

“Amelia, let me explain,” he said as he knelt down in front of her. 

“No, I think I understand completely,” she said as she moved away from him. “You don’t love me. I’m not the same woman you married. You made your point very clearly.” 

He nodded. 

“You’re right. You’re not the same woman I married,” he said slowly. “Your hair is gone. Your body is thinner. I would probably snap your arm if I turned my wrist too hard.” 

He watched as she sat on the edge of the bed. She looked fragile as if his words would break what was left of her. 

“You barely cook dinner. Or take care of the house. There are even days I wonder if you’ve changed clothes.” 

“I probably didn’t,” she whispered. 

He stood up, only to kneel in front of her again. 

“With all that, I’m more in love with you now than I was the day I said I do,” he said as he took her hands in his. 

“What?” she asked with tears running down her cheeks. 

The crack in her voice almost made him rethink telling her this. She didn’t need the stress, but she did need to hear what he was saying. 

“I see your strength radiating every moment your eyes are open. You even glow when you’re asleep. I loved your drive when we found out it was cancer. My heart broke, but you pushed to know what we could do. You wanted the plan when all I could think of was not losing you.” 

“I was scared,” she cried. 

“I know and I loved you for the courage you displayed. You never knew how much your diagnose changed me. I see life so differently now. I see colors in every movement of your body. I hear even the smallest sounds. You’ve brightened our world. And I can’t lose you now,” he stated as the tears tracked down his cheeks. 

“Beau,” she whispered as she pulled her hand from his to cup his cheek. 

“I love you more than I ever thought possible. I’m even jealous when you’re around other men now. You shine brightly even when you’re barely fighting. You draw people to you. I remember you walking down the aisle in your white dress. It was one of the happiest days of my life. The day the doctor said you had cancer was one of the worst.”

She nodded as she quietly wept. 

He took a deep breath before he continued.  

“At sixteen, you were my first love. At eighteen, my heartbreak. At twenty-one, my true love. At twenty-two, you were my fiancée. At twenty-four, my wife. At twenty-six, the mother of my son. At thirty-two, you were my sorrow. And at thirty-three, you became my fighter. When I told you I didn’t love you the same, I meant I love you more. I love the girl you were, the woman you turned into and now the woman you were forced to become. Amelia, I love you.” 

She cried as she looped her arms around his neck and sank to her knees. 

“I love you,” she whispered between sobs. 

He scooped her into his arms and laid her on the bed. “I never want you to question my love for you or my dedication to this family.” 

She wiped away her tears as she watched him come down beside her. 

“I’m sorry for questioning.” 

“No, it’s not your fault,” he said as he pulled her into his arms. “Marriage is hard work, but it takes both of us. I let the ball drop which caused you to question my love.” 

She sighed. “It was my insecurity. I didn’t know how you could want to be with me when I’m bald and so skinny, it’s unhealthy.” 

“Bald is beautiful,” he said as he kissed her bald head. “Rock your weakness so everyone questions if it is really a weakness.” 

She laughed as she snuggled deeper in his arms.